Sympathy For My Ego

These days my ego has less and less to do.

I have compassion for him.

The job he has performed with such distinction for so long is less and less necessary each day.

More and more, I know the results he created for me — success, wealth, notoriety, and security — were already mine.

More and more, I know everything he has kept me safe from — loneliness, poverty, sickness, and even death — were never threats.

Yet, even with nothing to do, he shows up for work.

I’d say he’s “always on time,” but the truth is he never leaves.

He never takes a vacation or even a break.

This job is all he knows.

It’s all he has ever done.

And like it or not, he got me here.

At least that’s how it felt for a long time.

Why else would I have kept him around?

It feels unkind to be phasing him out.

Thanks for everything.

Your services are no longer required.

You are obsolete.

Now fuck off.

And if that’s not cruel enough, I know I am infinite.

But he is not and knows his end will come someday.

I get to live forever, but he doesn’t.

Is it any surprise he has some shitty days?

Is it any surprise he throws a tantrum once in a while?

Wouldn’t you?

So I try to be grateful and loving.

I do my best not to judge him when he sounds the alarm or plays ‘eye of the tiger’ too loudly.

I say, “thank you.”

I let him know he can leave whenever he is ready.

I invite him to enjoy retirement.

Take it easy. You’ve earned it.

You’ve worked so hard for so long.

How about you relax and enjoy the ride?

Who knows, he may even take me up on it someday.