These days my ego has less and less to do.
I have compassion for him.
The job he has performed with such distinction for so long is less and less necessary each day.
More and more, I know the results he created for me — success, wealth, notoriety, and security — were already mine.
More and more, I know everything he has kept me safe from — loneliness, poverty, sickness, and even death — were never threats.
Yet, even with nothing to do, he shows up for work.
I’d say he’s “always on time,” but the truth is he never…
One of my favorite questions to ask is, “What do you want more than anything.”
A client recently shared his greatest desire was Security.
As we unpacked this, I asked how having Security would look and feel.
He described a world where nothing bad could happen to him or his family and shared his belief that having more money would create this state.
I challenged his notion that such a place existed, “Do you believe any quantity of money can ensure Safety?”
“It does sound funny when I hear it out loud… maybe there is no such thing as Security,”…
“If you are trying to make the best of a bad situation, you are choosing a suboptimal view of the situation.”
As a coach, people come to me for help with challenges and problems.
They show up with what they believe is a complete and accurate view of their situation, looking for help choosing between two or more undesirable options.
After they finish presenting all the evidence to support “Option One” and “Option Two” as the only possible choices, I ask a simple question:
“What’s behind door number three?”
This question is a reference to the famous…
Contrary to popular opinion, our experience of life is never objective.
Instead, we experience ‘reality’ based on our thinking at this moment.
Different thinking creates different experiences.
Two individuals can share the same circumstances but have the opposite experience of those circumstances.
Similarly, the same person can have different a experiences of the same situation at different times.
When we feel secure, we ‘create’ our environment as secure, regardless of the circumstances.
Likewise, when we feel insecure, no amount of evidence or assurances can convince is that our situation is safe.
Recently, I ran a poll that confirmed something I long suspected.
More people value Freedom (57%) over Peace (26%), connection (11%), or even Success (6%).
This mirrors my experience working with clients who most often say ‘Freedom’ when I ask about their greatest desire.
When pressed to describe what Freedom looks like, they share scenarios where they have “enough” of something external (money, land, time, etc.) to insulate them from a potentially unpleasant internal experience.
- enough money to feel secure.
- enough land so nobody can disturb my Peace.
- enough time to feel connected to children. …
We are all made of exactly the same stuff.
The same energy.
The same life force.
We are all assembled by the same creator (God, The Universe, Consciousness, etc.)
Yet we ‘live’ inside an impenetrable illusion…
…and inside this manifestation, we are convinced we exist as an individual entity, separate and apart from every other individual entity.
Our programming establishes this illusion of the individual self.
This programming assures us: I am not you and you are not me.
Then, our conditioning reinforces the role we as actors must play.
We are supposed to crash into each other.
I work with highly successful clients to unpack the ‘Why’ behind their relentless drive and persistent anxiety.
At the end of the rainbow, we often uncover the desire for Freedom.
One client shared it this way: “I want to build a financial wall around my family so tall nothing can harm us.”
Like many, he has a dream called ‘financial freedom.’
Where is enough?
Many chase financial freedom.
Yet most can’t articulate what this looks like or how much money is required to get us’ there.’
Most haven’t thought past the concept of ‘enough.’
Sadly, even when one can articulate…
I was recently reminded of how magical religion can be.
For a few hours, every person in the church knows they are loved completely.
In that moment, each of us loves ourselves completely.
And when we love ourselves completely, we create our life as someone who loves themselves completely.
We also let go of self-judgment and, in doing so, stop judging others.
At least for a few hours.
What if you loved yourself completely every moment of every day?
The good news is this is possible.
The better news is loving ourselves completely is our natural state.
For the last 40 days, I have abstained from alcohol, meditated, and followed an intermittent fasting regime.
I woke up one morning with the thought: “What about taking a break from alcohol?”
A few hours later the thought appeared: “I’ll start meditating and see how that goes.”
Two days later, another thought appeared: “I wonder what intermittent fasting would be like?”
40 days later here I am.
I shed 19 pounds of body fat, my mind is clear, and I have a ridiculous amount of energy.
Sounds crazy, right?
We perceive health and peace of mind as states…
Raj Raghunathan is the author of a beautiful book titled “If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?”
Early in the book, he shares his favorite question to ask at parties.
Raj calls it The Genie Question because he tells a fellow party-goer to imagine meeting a genie with the power to grant them three wishes.
He then asks what they would wish for urging them not to limit themselves in any way.
As Raj tells it, people have little trouble coming up with their wishes.
Responses typically include something in each of the categories of Money, Success, and Relationships.
I help inspiring people make more money, create massive impact, and be ridiculously happy.